Ode to Hottie

Well, here I am: 30 weeks preggo, looking down at my belly, wondering how on earth I've gotten to this point. I know the physics of it, obviously, but seriously, how is it possible for a stomach to protude so much from a body? Will it ever go back into place? I've been assured by my girlfriends who've gone through this experience that it will.

I think they're lying to me.

How did it come to this? Believe it or not, I asked for it. I know, I know, what was I thinking? But here I am, unable to move backwards and scared to death to move forward. Like I really have an option at this point.

It all started with the helicopter on September 19th. Now, I'm not going to go into details, but suffice to say, by September 20th, I could tell something was a "not quite right." I debated with myself for about a week, thinking I was wrong, before I broke down and took a test. It came up negative. My first thought "Hmmf. That's wrong." So, I decided do a little research online that week, and lo and behold, the test won't even pick up the correct hormone until the second or the third week.

Hottie started having symptoms soon after. Poor thing starting feeling a little nauseous. Even texted me on Oct 7th - "I feel sick to my stomach. I think you might have a baby in your belly." Now keep in mind, not once did I mention that I thought I was in the money, so to speak. Hottie never gets sick. Hasn't been sick the entire time that I've known him. And now he's feeling nauseous?

Hmmm...my sense of smell was suddenly that of a vampire's. Now, last I checked I wasn't living in Forks, Washington.

I bought another test. Snuck it into the house while he was browsing the 'net. Peed on the stick.

Waited. Waited. Waited.

Oh shit.